Arts Coordinator Extraordinaire!

Grown-Up Gigs ESL Teacher/Drama Therapist/Arts Coordinator Extraordinaire! My good friend Deirdre Flynn  made a big, bold, huge, scary, exciting, freak-out decision: she was going to break loose of her corporate shackles go to Thailand to volunteer with SOLD, a not-for-profit that prevents Thai children from falling into prostitution, for 6 months. An actor by trade at heart, Deirdres going to Thailand not only because shes passionate about doing her part to eliminate the child sex trade industry there, but because she gets to build the arts curriculum teach ESL to all the kids they rescue from the streets. In order to finance her flights, vaccines living expenses, Deirdre is currently raising money for her trip so she can make this, yes, a grown-up gig. While not a career, so to say (at this point anyway!), Deirdres resolve to leave her corporate life find something she could be passionate about was a tough road for her to follow. In fact, I have to call her Deirdre  because her job doesnt know shes leaving she doesnt want the word to get out before shes ready. And when this opportunity arose, she knew it was a way for her to get back to her first love acting, everything that goes with it while working towards a cause that shes passionate about. She also feels like she might love being the head of an arts program as well as being a drama therapist, this opportunity gives her the chance to try on all of those different hats. 1. What did you want to be when you grew up? “An actor” was always my prompt and assured response to this question. However, now that I am older (and given all I’ve reflected on this past year+ in corporate America) I realize it was more the “core” of what being an actor meant to me then acting itself. Don’t get me wrong, I love acting- I love the storytelling, the lights, the adrenaline, and cast of characters (pun intended) you meet at auditions and in rehearsals. But really, it had more to do with being engaged and active in my life. I wanted the immediacy of being present in the moment like being up on stage requires of you, I wanted to be interested and involved in what I was doing with my time, I wanted a routine but one that was flexible, I wanted to work in a collaborative. I wanted to be challenged by creating and thinking on my feet. Being an actor, to me, encapsulated all of that. 2. Why did you decide to take a break from the acting take a step into Corporate Land? Conversely, how did you know it was time to find something new? I decided to break from acting when I realized I was juggling so many part-time, off hours, menial paying jobs (jobs I took in lieu of a 9-5 so I could have flexibility to audition)   I barely had the time or the finances to do what it was I was here to do. So I entered the world of Corporate America. A world I describe as “the black hole of boredom”. A tad dramatic (it’s the actor in me!) but yet a completely truthful description. It is a world that does not use any of my strengths, offers no room for personal growth and zero personal satisfaction. Its’ value system was not in align with mine. I began to feel removed from who I was and what I was good at. When I realized my consolation to myself, as I miserably sat on the train on the way to work, was “Well… at least it’s not bartending/temping,” it dawned on me despite all the “glitz” (healthcare, no roommates, stable routine, and a recurring pay check!) I wasn’t in such a better happier place after all. 3. Weve spoken that this opportunity with SOLD came like it was from above a divine intervention, so to say, from your friend who started the organization and sent an email asking for volunteers and/or donations*. But at the same time, you almost passed out when you sent the email offering your services! What fears did you have before after you sent the email, how did you push through them? What fears do you have left? It’s odd, it really happened so quickly that the ‘fear’ didn’t hit until after I sent the email.   I was in a place where I was unhappy and feeling as lost as I ever have and I was ready to take a leap of faith. I had spent so much time over the summer evaluating myself, my present, my future and what I valued, that I knew that I had to make a change in a very real way. As much I love New York, my options here felt extremely limiting. I was more afraid of not making a change then of making one. I just wanted to make the right one and not a change I felt I was settling for.   I said to myself and to God “Ok, whatever this next step is, I will take it. I have to”. And then BOOM the next day I got an email about the Prevention Program SOLD is opening. As soon as I read the email I just knew this type of change was what I had been preparing myself for. It was honestly like I had been hit with a thunderbolt. I’ve never been so sure. The feeling that hit afterward I responded back was a mixture of “YES! Biggest adventure of my life coming at me!” and “HOLY SH*T…. biggest most unknown adventure of my life coming at me…” But I think that feeling is what living is all about. I still have the “HOLY SH*T” type moments but it has never changed my certainty about this. I also have a lot of “YES!” moments. That is the feeling which gets me through the “am I going to raise enough $?”, “What the heck do I know about teaching English as a second language?”, “will I be lonely?”, and “after Thailand, then what?” But then I ask myself so what?   Because the alternative is what I currently am doing, and, no, it isn’t a terrible place to work or bad people, but this isn’t acceptable for me. I just want more for my life. And by making this decision for change I feel like me again. That is what keeps me going. 4. In my blog, with my clients, I always talk about the little bitty baby steps how theyre helpful in ensuring that you reach your goal. What steps are you taking to make sure this opportunity comes to fruition? I am doing an odd dance of throwing myself into it wholeheartedly and face first and placing one foot in front of the other. I am praying about it. I am fundraising. I am buying books on teaching ESL, Thailand, and eating spicier foods to prepare myself. Talking to friends and family. Looking at my inbox every day (which reinforces the determination to get out of here). Vaccinating myself against all kinds of fun sounding diseases (like Travelers Acute Diarrhea… what a good time that must be). I am making lists upon lists of what I need to do and then focusing on what has to happen on the first list to make the second list get scratched off. I am doing my best to not do it all at once. I am fundraising, fundraising, fundraising (did I mention this position is self funded?). I am keeping the faith. 5. So, what happens next after you finish your volunteer work are done with Thailand? There are so many open doors for you! However, I know that even though youre a hippy actress like me you crave that structure stability. How are you coming to terms with the unknown of it all? I believe in this decision so strongly, I am finding the unknown to be exhilarating. Right now the end of September 2010 can periodically gape up at me but … I don’t have to know the future. Six months ago would have I ever thought I’d be moving to Thailand? Hell no! And look at how the pieces fell into place because I was searching and receptive. Stability will come to me because I value it. I will find the type of stability that works and makes sense for me for where I am.   I will be living in a house with 3 other SOLD volunteers in the middle of a Thai city. That doesn’t sound stable or secure here in this environment where I’ve had crazy NYC roommates and currently live on my own. But when I get there; will that type of communal living with other English speakers working for the same cause we all believe in provide more stability and security then living by myself in a foreign country? Yep. I think to myself when my time in Thailand is over maybe I travel around Europe on a tourists visas, maybe I’ll go hang with my family and work at theatre camps I went to as a kid, maybe I move back to NYC or maybe I will stay in Thailand. Who knows? What I do know is I will not be sitting at this desk, one eyeball clued to the clock waiting for the day to end, twitching at the tediousness of it all. My life and time will be more my own then it has been in a long time and that, to me, makes all the unknowns worth it. To donate specifically to Deirdres trip, go to thesoldproject.com, click on Donate indicate youre donating money for The Prevention Program. When asked if youre donating for a volunteer, please choose Yes write-in When I Grow Up. Or, if you or anyone you know is in NYC on Tue, Dec 1st, join us (yes, Ill be there too!) at Lucky Jacks at 7:30p. An $8 cover goes to Deirdres trip gets you cheap drinks to boot. Either way, please donate! *Make sure you check out Deirdres guest post, written in the first person, about this journey/decision on Follow My Bliss tomorrow!